Grief feelings aren’t always graceful and poised. They can get messy and overbearing and complicated, and yes— expressing those feelings might make you feel bothersome, annoying or even selfish. But you aren’t. While it is possible to ruminate or get stuck in your grief, you are embarking on a natural process that seeks to honor the memory of a significant loss, and you can do so by engaging in healthy expressions of grief.
Read MoreOur emotional processes aren’t quite as simple as a definitive declaration of “I am happy” or “I am sad” immediately following an event. We can’t label our emotions in a heartbeat, no matter how we try.
And yet, we expect ourselves to cordon off our emotions as quickly as possible, and by doing so, move through life with only half of the information. We make assessments about our thoughts and behaviors without first knowing the backstory.
This is how we become disconnected from ourselves. This is how we stray from self-compassion, viewing our emotions with judgment and shame. This is how we wander from empathy for our fellow human. This is a fraction of how we have found ourselves unable to cope with our surroundings during the pandemic— because we don’t always have the words to describe it.
So much of our emotional experience is limited by two things: the guideposts of language and the stigmatized, societal pressure to “just get over it.” I’d like to use this week’s online space to break this down a little more.
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