A Letter to the New Year

“No turn of the calendar page or changing of days can discount whatever process you are in the midst of right now. ”

As I prayed over what I wanted to write about in this week’s blog post, I continuously returned to the concept of the clean slate that surrounds the New Year. To be perfectly honest with you, my heart has struggled with this concept time and time again. 

You see, humans love symbolism. It gives us something firm to grasp onto in an otherwise tumultuous world. It makes sense of the nonsensical and provides order to the chaos. 

So, it is entirely logical that we would hold tight to the idea of a new calendar year marking new beginnings, new resolutions, and at times, even a whole new sense of self. (“New year, new me,” anyone?) We change our habits, we update our wardrobes, we sign up for a gym membership, we reassess our respective career trajectories.

We see an opportunity to regain some semblance of control, and we seize it… myself included!

But what the novelty surrounding the New Year doesn’t account for is the reality of the human condition. 

The human condition is fluid. It is constantly in flux. It allows for two, three, even four emotions to exist at once or back-to-back. Sometimes it includes three steps forward only to be followed by twelve steps back. It doesn’t operate on any sort of timeline, much less one that annually wipes the slate clean for all people everywhere. 

So, when it comes time for the calendar to flip to a fresh 365 days, I struggle a little bit. 

I think of all of my grieving clients who might feel pressure to let go of their grief despite the fact that it is still moving through them. 

I think of anyone who has lost anyone or anything in 2021 and feels bound to the stigmatized timeline that it’s time to “just get over it.”

I think of everyone who is still processing the state of our world in the last TWO years and wonders how in the world we’re supposed to embark on yet another. 

I think of people who might be in the process of forgiving themselves for past missteps. 

I think of those of us on healing journeys that don’t operate on any timeline at all because no healing journey ever does. 

I think of the individuals that feel a sense of renewal is impossible until they’ve worked through their past traumas or anxiety or depression. I think of how they might feel like an outlier among all of the “New Me’s” of the world. 

I think of anyone who feels that each passing day means they are moving on, that they are forgetting, that they are forgotten. 

I think of all of these people because those who have experienced loss or heartache or change this last year often feel that the New Year discounts the work still to be done, all of the healing yet to be had. It makes them feel like moving forward can be mistaken for moving on. 

Don’t get me wrong: The symbolism of the New Year has its benefits. Intention and goal setting is a crucial part of any healing process because it gives your left-brained psyche a benchmark for forward movement. It helps you realize your dreams and feel renewed in your existence. 

But I encourage you, as you sit down with your journals and timelines to lay out the next 365 days, to remember that you are only human. No turn of the calendar page or changing of days can discount whatever process you are in the midst of right now. 

If a sense of renewal is hard for you to come by this New Year, please know it’s okay. Give yourself some grace and self-compassion. A sense of renewal will come for you— maybe in March, maybe in November… maybe even next week.

And that sense of renewal won’t mean your hurts are forgotten. It won’t make your heart suddenly unbroken or your loss miraculously less painful. 

But it will remind you that there is hope on the horizon. That you will move forward with an abundance of love in your heart. That there is help available to you, and that renewal is possible no matter what the calendar says.